Thirty
years ago, at 37 years old, my next-door neighbor, Sean introduced me to bondage sex. We
had dated a few times; he had enticed me with late night dinners he prepared for me at his place.
Who could resist a man that cooks? And finally one late night he invited me to his bed.
During that first tryst Sean tied my wrists with my belt and pulled my arms above my
head and restrained my movements. I was restricted! I was
restrained! I was his. I melted in ecstasy.
Sean was both demanding
and loving and the feeling of being bound was an entirely new experience for me.
Afterwards I lay in his arms, shocked that I was so thrilled by our first
sexual experience. I had to fight my thoughts that I SHOULD be appalled; after all, NOBODY restrained me in any way. I was a demanding, well-known business woman and
community member. How could he!!!
Yeah, how could this seem so right? So right, yet so
wrong at the same time… HOW COULD THAT BE?????
I was a good girl. How could he
want that kind of intimacy from me? I felt like I had a
dirty secret about my new sexual prowess… I could see Sean was beyond turned on
and clearly there to pleasure ME. I had
never had such a lover, and I had had many before Sean.
I
want to hear your questions… how do you maintain dominant/submissive roles over
the long haul-- yes, thirty years… how do you learn to enjoy and expand your surrendering to a
partner … how do you expand your trust. These are questions I have engaged in for the last
thirty years, learning more and more about letting love flourish. Until next time, love Bianca
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