Tie me up, please???

Dr. Irene and Bianca Gordon --
 
Bianca came to me feeling like a bad girl because she liked being tied up and restrained in sex with Sean. She couldn’t rationalize it in the beginning, she just knew she liked it.  And after several of her girl friends balked at the option of being tied up by their lovers and/or husbands saying she had stepped into the dark area of love,  she realized she had no one to talk to about this.   

Upon investigation, I saw that Bianca was, like so many woman today, here in the USofA, already bound up, tied to smithereens for many reasons.  And many of you may be noticing these reasons as well -- 

emotionally doubting your ability to love another fully, too engaged with other issues to include sexual bondage to work through poor body image, low sexual urges, your lack of interest;

physically doubting your desirability because of a variety of reasons -- stretch marks or unattractive body scars, being overweight or underweight, sheer exhaustion, chronic pain,  illness;

or mentally struggling with doubt and fear related to being a daughter with aging parents perhaps, a young woman admonished for being passionate or distant and shy, a wife working a full-time job in corporate America while being a mother, or a career woman concerned about advancement.

And there may be many other reasons why you feel bound and restrained, and you do not know how to address being whole and complete within yourself. 

Here's where surrendering to your lover can give you access to the divine within yourself, your wholeness. You can learn to surrender to your inner voice when you quiet enough to listen and hear it.  You can surrender and access more joy, Peace and Fulfillment in life… in general.  

You can find many ways to surrender, and yet for Bianca, it showed up in her relationship with Sean.  

I asked Bianca, "what if you willingly, gladly said yes to your loving, consenting partner tying you up, smacking your tush or pussy, gagging your mouth shut, blindfolding you or requesting you wear thigh-high fishnet stockings or whatever?  What if it were pure and wholesome, would you be suffering about loving Sean's requests and lovemaking." She said, "I would scream it from the rooftops! "

I asked Bianca, "what if Sean's "Dom" actions triggered  your access to freedom you couldn't even imagine for yourself, and required putting your ego aside and fully TRUSTING him whom you know will not maim you or otherwise hurt you, but who aims to trigger you to access more pleasure and love … how would that alter your entire life? "  She grinned from ear to ear.

I dug deeper...  I asked Bianca to look within her inner self to discover  her purpose for having Sean as her life-partner... after all he was one man among many suitors she could have married.  She admits, "Perhaps I chose him to figure out what surrendering provides me as a woman, as a couple, as a mother, as a daughter,  family member,  community member, as business woman."

So,yes, first let us acknowledge that women today in this country are bound up!  Good news, now we can make some progress.  Being bound is part of what it is to be human and living in an earthsuit. And being bound emotionally, mentally and physically  is  one way to go through our lives. And being bound can be the access to fully getting the privilege and potential of life and for having an earthsuit to travel life's terrain.   Try that on for a while.

SO MAYBE IT'S TIME TO COME UNBOUND… whether you use sexy bondage restraints click or find another form to free yourself… surrender to your pleasure and your inner self. Trust yourself. For now, play hard, play nice… 
love light and gratitude, Dr. Irene and Bianca Gordon